I moved to NYC in 2000. Being from Chicagoland (because that's what we call suburbia up there,) I didn't have to wear my real winter coat for at least 3 years in NY. You know THE winter coat, the one that is so warm you don't actually need the thermal union jack, two turtlenecks and three sweaters under it? You can actually wear it over your regular clothes, and you are still toasty in -5. Your face may be frozen into Droopy Dog covered in icicles of mucus and saliva (despite your ski mask, scarf, and hat) but your limbs, torso, and hopefully legs are warm. In Chicago (land), no one looks at you twice since everyone looks like that, and you keep that coat until it is down to the very last feather of whatever mutant bird from Greenland "donated" it, because it is VERY hard to find a coat like that. Of course The coat moved with me from residence to residence I even pulled it out a few times in Ohio, but NYC, just not cold enough. Especially if you take the subway. It may be 25 outside, but it is 75 in the subway and you and every other Frosty the Snowman in July are stuck in this steam bath until you reach your destination. No way. Not only was it not cold enough for THE jacket on the streets of NYC, it was easier to for me to wear a sweatshirt if it was over 25 degrees and I was using mass transit.
Eventually I did get rid of THE coat. I retrospect, I should have mailed it back to the Midwest, but I can only hope it gave some homeless person the night sweats so badly that he thought he had gone through a heroine withdrawal and went on to become president of his own online gambling casino. I had worn THE coat a few times, and it just didn't work in NYC. I bought a lighter coat, more suited to an environment where the water in your eyes doesn't freeze and it is sometimes actually too cold to snow, and I was very happy in this new coat. Actually I still am, despite the fact that the weather is changing quite a bit in The Big Apple.
In my opinion, it's still not that cold here, but it is starting to snow more regularly. When I first moved here, I was actually kind of astonished that it barely snowed. I mean NYC is far from the tropics, I just figured it snowed like home. Nope. Not even close. It did snow once in a while though. Maybe a few times a winter, and everyone made a big deal about it. Store shelves resembled those of the day of the Rodney King verdict. Everything was closed and cancelled, and it snowed! Like 18". Really? When it snowed 2 feet in Chicago (land) and the school bus door could only open six inches, you best contort yourself through it and fast. That bus was on a schedule, and not going to be late to school. I remember one time in high school when it was my birthday. I was walking down the stairs to get to class and I looked out the window and it was a blizzard. My birthday is April 20th.
Anyway, due to no global warming whatsoever, every year NYC winters are getting more snow. 2006 was a big snowy winter, and the reason I know this is not because I lived here (I mean I did, but in my mind it is still always a big snowy winter. You can take the girl out of Chicago...) but because this year, right now in fact, we New Yorkers are bracing ourselves for the biggest blizzard to ever hit the city: Snowpocalypse! A beast even bigger than whatever happened in 2006... which I believe was called Snowmaggedon, but don't quote me on that. Now I get it. This is a big city filled with millions of people, so the governing bodies have to bear in mind a shitload of safety concerns. It hasn't even snowed that much and I'm sure there are already lawsuits filed by 500 people who slipped on a frosty street. Not only that, but this is like porn for the newscasters. Is it snowing in Afghanistan? No! It's snowing right here in NYC! And that poor Asian woman is once again being sent out in a fashionable anorak to report from the most windblown place that the news van could find. I admit it. After Hurricane Sandy destroyed most of South Brooklyn, including half of our home, I take these overhyped weather reports much more seriously. I get it. It's going to snow...probably a few feet, and the wind is going to be strong, maybe 60 mph in some places. Since I live in Brooklyn, most people's attitudes are, "I survived Sandy. Bring it on." Seriously, it's true. The hurricane was pure devastation. This is snow. I am well aware that snow brings it's own set of problems (You can take a girl out of Chicago...) so I did my best to be prepared. Batteries of all sizes and shapes? Check. Bread, milk, peanut butter, potato chips and beer? Check. Candles that have had the dust wiped off of them? Check. Snow shovel that your daughter is not allowed to touch since she left it on the ground to get buried under 3 feet of snow in an undisclosed location? Check. Full tank of gas? Sorta check. Salt and weird blue ice melting stuff that probably contains plutonium? Check. All plans cancelled for tomorrow? Check. I am as ready as I will ever be. So now we wait.
The snow wasn't supposed to start until 1pm. Cool. I had a training session at my gym at 10am. No problem. At least I would get those arms pumped for shoveling. About a week ago, my gym, Ballys, became 24 Hour Fitness. Everyone found out because of the 24 Hour Fitness sticker stuck to the door, but that's beside the point. The point is, since Ballys became 24 Hour Fitness, it has actually never been open 24 hours. So I was in the middle of my training when the announcement came that the gym would be closing at 2pm. Mind you it hadn't even started snowing yet. Then, when the first flake of snow hit the sidewalk, another announcement came in that said the gym would be closed the following day. What? Ballys was open during Sandy, but 24 Hour Fitness closes early and doesn't even open at all? I will now be referring to the gym as Sometimes Open Fitness, that is on the rare occasions when I don't refer to it as Ballys.
So I picked up the kids (who I almost forgot about since I was so dumbfounded that the gym was closing 8 hours early at 2... oh yeah...my kids get out of school at 2. Better go get them,) and I texted my husband that I would be stopping at Walgreens on the way home. Did he need anything? He texted something back, but honestly, it was so lame that I immediately forgot about it. So I am in Walgreens. I figure one last stop juuuust in case. Picked up some more batteries, some snacks, some milk.... now what was that thing my husband texted me? I left my phone in the car, and try as I may, it is impossible for me to recall his request. I stroll down the aisles...a razor? No. Shampoo? No. Tylenol? No. A Chia Pet? Screw this I'm checking out. I pay way to much for what little I got, and get back in the car looking for my phone. I scroll through his messages, and there it is...scotch tape. WTF????? Scotch tape? Really? Why the fuck would anyone need scotch tape for a snow storm? I would have understood if it was just scotch. I mean a bunch of my friends texted me from around the country to make sure I had rum, vodka, wine and tequila. Surprisingly, none of them mentioned scotch tape, and I know it wasn't scotch with stupid auto correct because the man has so much scotch that the liquor cabinet is overflowing. Duct tape would make more sense. After all we do have 2 kids who won't stop whining and talking, but we have duct tape. Scotch tape? So I start thinking, "Why do we need scotch tape for Snowpocolypse?" Seriously, am I missing something? Might we need to tape a note on the door in case our doorbell isn't working? I don't know if scotch tape can withstand 60 mph winds. Do we have presents to wrap? Do you give presents to people in a snowstorm? No. Ridiculous. Scotch tape? Did he rip our home insurance policy? Does it even cover snow damage? Is he planning on taping the odd lot of our candles together to make a torch? Won't the tape melt from the wax? Is he planning on taping an "X" on every window like with duct tape for the hurricane but since it's a snowstorm you only need a lighter tape? I went back into the store, bought the tape (he asked for it,) and all the way home, all I could think of was wtf this man needed scotch tape for in a blizzard. Was a page of the How To Survive A Blizzard book ripped? Did his iPhone screen crack? Is he going to kidnap a Con Ed guy if the power goes out and make him restore it but scotch tape his eyes shut so he doesn't see us? Was one of the labels coming off of one of his bottles of scotch?
When I finally got home, I tore out of the car, ripped open the door and found him on the phone. I paced back and forth until he finally hung up and burst out the inevitable question, "WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU NEED SCOTCH TAPE FOR SNOWPOCOLYPSE???" "Oh," he looked at me like I was a lunatic, "we don't need it right now but I used the last piece and I figured since you were going to Walgreens you could grab some." Omg. Of course. Might as well stock up on the scotch tape just in general. I mean you never know if one of our neighbors does have a birthday tomorrow, or a bow falls off a Barbie Doll.
So while most of my neighbors are drinking wine, watching a movie or watching the snow fall, I am going to pour myself a glass of the finest red we have with a screw top, and scotch tape something. Maybe I will scotch tape a label on a folder. Maybe I will write a letter and scotch tape the envelope shut. Maybe I will just stick a piece of scotch tape to the wall. Why? Because the tape was on the Snopocolypse shopping list, and I can.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Happy Winter Break
You know you have been married a long time when you buy a crotchless net bodysuit to spice up your sex life, and while you are digging under the bed to find the one pair of stilettos that you keep threatening to give to Goodwill, your husband asks, "What is that on the back? Is that a tag?" Forget the net, forget the non existent crotch, it is the tag that attracts his attention, and I have to admit, why is there a tag on a net bodysuit? On a side note, it wasn't even attached and came off in 2 seconds. Who knew?
So in the spirit of trying new things, we broke another cherry for the holiday break (when I was in school mine was a Christmas break, but that was in the seventies when we went out for "Oriental" food.) This year we decided to drive to Florida to see my family. I know a lot of people do this, but we never have. Partly because the interior of our car looks like a homeless family with 5 kids has lived inside for three years, and partly because I drive so much in general, the thought of a massive drive was extremely unappealing. But, at close to $4,000 in airfare, we were driving, drop the homeless family at a shelter.
We decided to leave on Christmas day. The kids wanted to open their presents from Santa before we hit the road. They left interesting letters next to the cookies and milk. Things like, "I know I have been really bad this year but I promise to be better next year," and "Hey, we are only human. Everyone makes mistakes, so can I get a stuffed Pikachu?" Santa, having a tequila buzz, was kind of upset by these notes and blamed his parenting for his kids' low self esteem, but he is ok with it now.
Anyway, for some reason, my husband had it in his head that we would be leaving for Florida at around 10am. This did not exactly mesh well with the tequila intake (which turned out to be more than a buzz,) so I had to take a nap before we left or there was a good chance of me puking in the car before we left Brooklyn. In retrospect, the puke smell would have not really been that different than the general car smell, which we have unsuccessfully been trying to locate for at least 6 months. Anyway, the kids were really excited and packed themselves, got their coats on and were waiting in the car by 3:00. My husband joined them around 3:45. I didn't get my shit together til about 4:gatorade, and off we went. About 6 blocks away, the 10 year old diva announced she had forgotten her glasses and we had to go back. I had to pee anyway, so that was fine with me. My husband started doing some deep breathing exercise and back we went. So, we officially hit the road, glasses on Diva, my bladder empty, at 4:16pm. I begged my husband to wait for 4 minutes so that we could leave at 4:20, but he wasn't having it. In his mind we were leaving 6 hours late. In my mind, 4:20 would have been a cool departure time.
The kids were actually really good in the car. They played on their electronics and I was even able to drive a few hours before I had to pee. That's when I came up with my mission. I was going to pee in every state! If you don't really know me, you should know that my bladder is the size of a pea (my 6 year old calls me the Queen of Pee...whatever,) so I knew I could do it, and everyone has to have short term goals. It makes the long term goal feel so much more obtainable. Plus when you are chugging water and Red Bull, you have to pee, so NJ was easy. We needed gas anyway. Now we were definitely on the road. The "We are going to have so much fucking fun they are going to have to pry the fucking smiles off our fucking faces" and Wallyworld references got us through Delaware (where I had to pee,) before we had to change topics. Listening to Panic! At the Disco five times got us into Virginia, where we drove for a while and decided to stop for the night, get a good night's sleep and reach our destination the next day. Surprisingly enough, after an entire day of eating nothing but candy, fruit snacks, and Slim Jims, the kids fell asleep rather fast. We all did. We had a big day ahead of us.
The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. I missed peeing in NC which I was not happy about and bitched my way through SC (where I peed twice!) and Georgia, where we conveniently needed gas and a restroom. The Kindle and the DS eventually ran out of juice, but we got to St. Augustine at about 10pm. I have to say, seeing my family absolutely washed away any problems I had, including missing the NC pee spot, and having my Panic! At the Disco cd replaced.
I hadn't seen my two nephews and brother-in-law for two years, and hugging them was so awesome. My oldest nephew, who was the first baby I ever fell in love with and have his first initial tattooed on my thigh, is now a surly teenager who wears a hoodie and jeans constantly (even in the Florida summer heat. At one point he said to me, "You know I am actually hot right now but I will never wear anything else.") sleeps til 4pm and hasn't bathed in a month, was even happy to see me. I could tell because he let me kiss my hand and put it on his cheek without throwing up. And my 9 year old nephew (who once spontaneously told me, "I am glad I'm not a ferret, to which I concurred,) was so excited he gave me a big warm hug and immediately started picking on his 6 year old cousin. Needless to say, we had the best time ever. My brother-in-law does stand up comedy and had me dying, and my mom and I didn't get into a fight once, even when I drank all of her cooking wine and the rest of her Jack Daniels straight from the bottle.
The kids went swimming despite the freezing pool and didn't start fighting for at least 10 minutes when the 9 year old hit the 6 year old from behind with a pool noodle. After being reprimanded by my sister, the 9 year old explained, "What's the point of a pool noodle if you cant hit someone with it?" My sister and I tried not to crack up. Well, at least he's not a ferret. We also took them to a bounce place called Rebounders which awesomely sold alcohol. They also sold women's tank tops that had "Rebounders" across the chest. Really? well it is the South.
One of the coolest things we did was take my nephews to pick out their Christmas presents. We coaxed the 13 year old out of his room with the promise of Bose headphones. My sister said he was ecstatic, which she could tell because he wasn't scowling and slouching as much. He wore them every second since he got them, and it filled my heart. The 9 year old is into magic. Like really into magic. St. Augustine is a tourist mecca since it is America's oldest city and home to the Fountain of Youth (which I am allergic to because it is sulfer water, go figure...) so my 9 year old nephew sets up a table on the most popular tourist filled street and does magic tricks. He is actually excellent at slight of hand, especially considering how small his hands are, and when he passes the top hat at the end, he has been known to walk away with $50-$75 a day. He wanted an expensive magic trick which we got for him, and he learned it in about an hour and continued to amaze us for the rest of our trip.
But far and away, the best part of the trip for me was hanging out with my sister. OMG, she is my absolute favorite person in the whole world. Yeah, she is four years younger so I may have charged her 25 cents to enter the room we shared. Yeah, I may have traded her all of my Smarties for all of her chocolate bars on Halloween assuring her she got the better end of the deal. But as adults, we couldn't laugh more, understand each other more, or love each other more. We had the best time doing nothing much. We went to the outlet mall with four kids (nightmare,) we went shopping for nothing (I spent $100,) and we bought champagne from Aldi for $3.99 to ring in the new year. We laughed at our kids, our husbands, my mom (sorry Mom but that's what daughters do,) and just everything. I felt like I was finally at peace. Finally able to be who I really am. Finally able to relax. It was wonderful, and well worth the drive. Thank you Carina, for just being you. You understand me, and love me for just being me, and I absolutely feel the same way about you.
New Year's Eve was fun My nephew did a magic show. We watched the whole Times Square mayhem from the comfort of a family filled living room. We drank a few bottles of champagne and decided we like Andre better than Korbel. My brother-in-law actually left (as in drove away) with an hour to go declaring it a stupid tradition and us pathetic, but he did come back about 5 minutes til midnight. When the countdown reached one minute I figured I would pop open the Aldi champagne. Of course I couldn't get the cork out no matter how hard I tried. Seriously, it was like cemented into the bottle. Probably because the bottles are not flying off the shelves at the rate of Michael Jordan's latest shoe... So as the countdown reached 2 I grabbed whatever was open at the time, and rang in the new year the most ultimate way I could: with my sister, and my family, and love all around me. It was amazing. Of course what none of us knew at the time was that there was something else all around us. We found that out later.
The next day was bittersweet. The last day of the visit. Sad to think about leaving. I wish it would have stayed bittersweet, but alas, it turned into a layer of hell. Actually it would have been a layer of hell if my sister and her husband didn't make me laugh so much. Turns out that not only did we bring Christmas gifts to St. Augustine, we also brought lice. Yes, lice. I fucking hate bugs, and lice is my worst nightmare. My kids had it almost exactly a year ago, and whaddaya know, I guess they like coming in for the holidays. We did all the over the counter stuff since every Dr. was closed on New Year's day, washed everything, and figured we had no choice really but to see our pediatrician when we got home.
The next day, the goodbyes were sad, and weird for everyone except the 13 year old since nobody wanted to touch each other, and this time we were on our way only two hours later than the time my husband had in his head. I don't know where he comes up with these absolute times. Frankly I consider them more of an estimate, but in any case we were back on the road and bound for Brooklyn.
This time we stayed in a hotel in NC with a pool. Unfortunately chlorine does not kill lice, but it was worth a shot. We left an hour later than my husband's absolute/suggested time, and arrived home at around 10pm. I was psyched. This time I got to pee in every state! There were furious negotiations about NJ, but we needed gas. I did my happy dance.
So back in Brooklyn with two warning lights on in the car, our first stop the next day was the pediatrician who confirmed the continued existence of the lice (those little bastards are worse than cockroaches) and proceeded to prescribe something that no pharmacy in at least 3 out of 5 boros could get. So, after a day of phone calls to the doctor and various pharmacies, we are finally deloused (hopefully,) and the washer and dryer have been running nonstop.
So, all in all, even with the lice (UGH!) I would have to say this was my favorite break ever. There is nothing that can compare to a family who loves each other. My 6 year old may have picked up a few choice words like "cunt," and "douche," which he used on his 9 year old cousin who hit him with a pool noodle, but I know they will be close as adults because there is just so much love between my sister and I, you can almost see it, and you can definitely feel it throughout the family. It's sad that I see the lady who works at Walgreens more than I see my sister, so we really need to spend more time together. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, and I love my family with all of my heart. I think we have decided to make this trip a yearly thing. I just hope the lice come to a different conclusion.
So in the spirit of trying new things, we broke another cherry for the holiday break (when I was in school mine was a Christmas break, but that was in the seventies when we went out for "Oriental" food.) This year we decided to drive to Florida to see my family. I know a lot of people do this, but we never have. Partly because the interior of our car looks like a homeless family with 5 kids has lived inside for three years, and partly because I drive so much in general, the thought of a massive drive was extremely unappealing. But, at close to $4,000 in airfare, we were driving, drop the homeless family at a shelter.
We decided to leave on Christmas day. The kids wanted to open their presents from Santa before we hit the road. They left interesting letters next to the cookies and milk. Things like, "I know I have been really bad this year but I promise to be better next year," and "Hey, we are only human. Everyone makes mistakes, so can I get a stuffed Pikachu?" Santa, having a tequila buzz, was kind of upset by these notes and blamed his parenting for his kids' low self esteem, but he is ok with it now.
Anyway, for some reason, my husband had it in his head that we would be leaving for Florida at around 10am. This did not exactly mesh well with the tequila intake (which turned out to be more than a buzz,) so I had to take a nap before we left or there was a good chance of me puking in the car before we left Brooklyn. In retrospect, the puke smell would have not really been that different than the general car smell, which we have unsuccessfully been trying to locate for at least 6 months. Anyway, the kids were really excited and packed themselves, got their coats on and were waiting in the car by 3:00. My husband joined them around 3:45. I didn't get my shit together til about 4:gatorade, and off we went. About 6 blocks away, the 10 year old diva announced she had forgotten her glasses and we had to go back. I had to pee anyway, so that was fine with me. My husband started doing some deep breathing exercise and back we went. So, we officially hit the road, glasses on Diva, my bladder empty, at 4:16pm. I begged my husband to wait for 4 minutes so that we could leave at 4:20, but he wasn't having it. In his mind we were leaving 6 hours late. In my mind, 4:20 would have been a cool departure time.
The kids were actually really good in the car. They played on their electronics and I was even able to drive a few hours before I had to pee. That's when I came up with my mission. I was going to pee in every state! If you don't really know me, you should know that my bladder is the size of a pea (my 6 year old calls me the Queen of Pee...whatever,) so I knew I could do it, and everyone has to have short term goals. It makes the long term goal feel so much more obtainable. Plus when you are chugging water and Red Bull, you have to pee, so NJ was easy. We needed gas anyway. Now we were definitely on the road. The "We are going to have so much fucking fun they are going to have to pry the fucking smiles off our fucking faces" and Wallyworld references got us through Delaware (where I had to pee,) before we had to change topics. Listening to Panic! At the Disco five times got us into Virginia, where we drove for a while and decided to stop for the night, get a good night's sleep and reach our destination the next day. Surprisingly enough, after an entire day of eating nothing but candy, fruit snacks, and Slim Jims, the kids fell asleep rather fast. We all did. We had a big day ahead of us.
The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. I missed peeing in NC which I was not happy about and bitched my way through SC (where I peed twice!) and Georgia, where we conveniently needed gas and a restroom. The Kindle and the DS eventually ran out of juice, but we got to St. Augustine at about 10pm. I have to say, seeing my family absolutely washed away any problems I had, including missing the NC pee spot, and having my Panic! At the Disco cd replaced.
I hadn't seen my two nephews and brother-in-law for two years, and hugging them was so awesome. My oldest nephew, who was the first baby I ever fell in love with and have his first initial tattooed on my thigh, is now a surly teenager who wears a hoodie and jeans constantly (even in the Florida summer heat. At one point he said to me, "You know I am actually hot right now but I will never wear anything else.") sleeps til 4pm and hasn't bathed in a month, was even happy to see me. I could tell because he let me kiss my hand and put it on his cheek without throwing up. And my 9 year old nephew (who once spontaneously told me, "I am glad I'm not a ferret, to which I concurred,) was so excited he gave me a big warm hug and immediately started picking on his 6 year old cousin. Needless to say, we had the best time ever. My brother-in-law does stand up comedy and had me dying, and my mom and I didn't get into a fight once, even when I drank all of her cooking wine and the rest of her Jack Daniels straight from the bottle.
The kids went swimming despite the freezing pool and didn't start fighting for at least 10 minutes when the 9 year old hit the 6 year old from behind with a pool noodle. After being reprimanded by my sister, the 9 year old explained, "What's the point of a pool noodle if you cant hit someone with it?" My sister and I tried not to crack up. Well, at least he's not a ferret. We also took them to a bounce place called Rebounders which awesomely sold alcohol. They also sold women's tank tops that had "Rebounders" across the chest. Really? well it is the South.
One of the coolest things we did was take my nephews to pick out their Christmas presents. We coaxed the 13 year old out of his room with the promise of Bose headphones. My sister said he was ecstatic, which she could tell because he wasn't scowling and slouching as much. He wore them every second since he got them, and it filled my heart. The 9 year old is into magic. Like really into magic. St. Augustine is a tourist mecca since it is America's oldest city and home to the Fountain of Youth (which I am allergic to because it is sulfer water, go figure...) so my 9 year old nephew sets up a table on the most popular tourist filled street and does magic tricks. He is actually excellent at slight of hand, especially considering how small his hands are, and when he passes the top hat at the end, he has been known to walk away with $50-$75 a day. He wanted an expensive magic trick which we got for him, and he learned it in about an hour and continued to amaze us for the rest of our trip.
But far and away, the best part of the trip for me was hanging out with my sister. OMG, she is my absolute favorite person in the whole world. Yeah, she is four years younger so I may have charged her 25 cents to enter the room we shared. Yeah, I may have traded her all of my Smarties for all of her chocolate bars on Halloween assuring her she got the better end of the deal. But as adults, we couldn't laugh more, understand each other more, or love each other more. We had the best time doing nothing much. We went to the outlet mall with four kids (nightmare,) we went shopping for nothing (I spent $100,) and we bought champagne from Aldi for $3.99 to ring in the new year. We laughed at our kids, our husbands, my mom (sorry Mom but that's what daughters do,) and just everything. I felt like I was finally at peace. Finally able to be who I really am. Finally able to relax. It was wonderful, and well worth the drive. Thank you Carina, for just being you. You understand me, and love me for just being me, and I absolutely feel the same way about you.
New Year's Eve was fun My nephew did a magic show. We watched the whole Times Square mayhem from the comfort of a family filled living room. We drank a few bottles of champagne and decided we like Andre better than Korbel. My brother-in-law actually left (as in drove away) with an hour to go declaring it a stupid tradition and us pathetic, but he did come back about 5 minutes til midnight. When the countdown reached one minute I figured I would pop open the Aldi champagne. Of course I couldn't get the cork out no matter how hard I tried. Seriously, it was like cemented into the bottle. Probably because the bottles are not flying off the shelves at the rate of Michael Jordan's latest shoe... So as the countdown reached 2 I grabbed whatever was open at the time, and rang in the new year the most ultimate way I could: with my sister, and my family, and love all around me. It was amazing. Of course what none of us knew at the time was that there was something else all around us. We found that out later.
The next day was bittersweet. The last day of the visit. Sad to think about leaving. I wish it would have stayed bittersweet, but alas, it turned into a layer of hell. Actually it would have been a layer of hell if my sister and her husband didn't make me laugh so much. Turns out that not only did we bring Christmas gifts to St. Augustine, we also brought lice. Yes, lice. I fucking hate bugs, and lice is my worst nightmare. My kids had it almost exactly a year ago, and whaddaya know, I guess they like coming in for the holidays. We did all the over the counter stuff since every Dr. was closed on New Year's day, washed everything, and figured we had no choice really but to see our pediatrician when we got home.
The next day, the goodbyes were sad, and weird for everyone except the 13 year old since nobody wanted to touch each other, and this time we were on our way only two hours later than the time my husband had in his head. I don't know where he comes up with these absolute times. Frankly I consider them more of an estimate, but in any case we were back on the road and bound for Brooklyn.
This time we stayed in a hotel in NC with a pool. Unfortunately chlorine does not kill lice, but it was worth a shot. We left an hour later than my husband's absolute/suggested time, and arrived home at around 10pm. I was psyched. This time I got to pee in every state! There were furious negotiations about NJ, but we needed gas. I did my happy dance.
So back in Brooklyn with two warning lights on in the car, our first stop the next day was the pediatrician who confirmed the continued existence of the lice (those little bastards are worse than cockroaches) and proceeded to prescribe something that no pharmacy in at least 3 out of 5 boros could get. So, after a day of phone calls to the doctor and various pharmacies, we are finally deloused (hopefully,) and the washer and dryer have been running nonstop.
So, all in all, even with the lice (UGH!) I would have to say this was my favorite break ever. There is nothing that can compare to a family who loves each other. My 6 year old may have picked up a few choice words like "cunt," and "douche," which he used on his 9 year old cousin who hit him with a pool noodle, but I know they will be close as adults because there is just so much love between my sister and I, you can almost see it, and you can definitely feel it throughout the family. It's sad that I see the lady who works at Walgreens more than I see my sister, so we really need to spend more time together. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, and I love my family with all of my heart. I think we have decided to make this trip a yearly thing. I just hope the lice come to a different conclusion.
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